Taryn Gets Robbed

I wish I were joking, but it’s true. Some lovely person broke my driver’s side window and stole my laptop bag, wallet, and guitar. The laptop was on its way out, so I’m not totally broken up about it. Plus I have an iPad, so I’m still able to get my work done, thank God!! I am bummed about my bag, however. My mom got it for me in Turkey and had my initials put on it. It was such a cute leather bag, everywhere I went I received compliments on it.

Wait, I’m on the East Coast?

I should mention that I’m in North Carolina. Charlotte to be exact. I had every intention on sharing how I went from being in Arizona 2 weeks ago to ending up in NC, but this robbery happened, and I figure I’d talk about that first. I will, guarantee that I will go more into detail about my recent travels. I’ve been to Texas, New Mexico, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, and South Carolina. This week, I PROMISE, I’ll share photos and my shenanigans. Anyway, I should explain how I got robbed.

On a Hike

As I’m nearing 1 week of being in NC (I leave tomorrow), I’ve been indulging in the beautiful trails that are all around Charlotte. Honestly, I’ve had such a wonderful time here. Anyway, this morning, I decided to go to a new trail instead of the 4 mile trail that I’ve grown to love. I decided to take my laptop as I was going to sit in a coffee shop after my hike to do some writing. I get to the destination, and on a stupid whim, I decided to leave my wallet in the car, because I didn’t want to carry it*

20190818_124242

* Friends, never leave your ID, cash, valuables in a car.

I know, it was dumb. So anyway, I spent about 2 hours on the trail, enjoying the beauty all around me. I decided to leave my camera at the house I’m staying in (thank God). As I was walking back, feeling super refreshed and in good spirits after the hike, I was greeted by a park ranger who asked if the vehicle she was standing next to was mine. I was about 50 feet away, so I could barely see her, and the car was out of my line of sight. At first, I thought I was parked in an unauthorized spot, but as I got closer, she explained that someone busted the window and opened the trunk.

20190818_131439

Enjoying Life’s Curveballs

To be honest, after the year I’ve had, having my car broken into didn’t even phase me. After taking the information in, I sighed, called the cops, and inspected the vehicle. The thief even stole my earbuds case, which is also its charger. What’s stupid is that I had the earbuds with me, so all they got was a case, and now I have no charger.

To add to the mania, the park ranger legit hit on me. She low key dropped the “did your boyfriend buy you that jacket” qualifying question, to see where my orientation leaned. I laughed, because who in their right mind thinks it’s wise to hit on someone who’s just gone through a burglary? I sidestepped the question and told her I prefer to be alone and that my dog was all the company I needed. After 20 minutes or so, she left, and I waited for the cops on my own. I didn’t mind, though. After dealing with the officer (I swear, both the ranger and officer were as cliche as can be), I removed the glass and drove back to the house I was staying at.

 

This may sound weird, but I’m incredibly thankful for all of the ridiculous things that have happened as of late. It’s really made me grow closer to God and to keep things in perspective. I’m safe, Abbey wasn’t there so nothing happened to her. The window  isn’t going to cost a lot to replace and will be fixed tomorrow. Aside from losing some cash, my ID, and some gadgets, it’s all well and good. I am annoyed that I will be having to go to the DMV AGAIN as I just got my license replaced in May. Also, I had just purchased some amazing InkJoy gel pens and a really adorable pen case which was in my bag. If only you knew how much I LOVE my pens. Oh, and my journals and manuscript notes were all in there. There were years of ideas and notes about my books. So, that’s a tough loss. Oh well, such is life. I’m thankful that I have parents that were kind and helpful through this ordeal. I’m grateful that everything taken is replaceable.

Motivated to Make it Happen

If you’re of the Christian faith, you know that opposition and setbacks occur as a way to discourage you from growing closer to God. I find that when you’re cultivating that relationship, expect some weird stuff to happen. So, rather than discourage me, it’s making me double down in my faith, and be who He’s called me to be. These crappy moments just make me want to sing His praises even louder. So with that being said, I’m going to finish packing and getting ready for my next destination. That and I’m going to write more and with an increased gusto as I will not be deterred in being who I am. On that note, happy Monday and I hope it’s a good one!

20190818_131541

Taryn Gains Reentry

Hello and long time no see!

I’m Back!

Pardon my abrupt 4-ish month hiatus. Turns out, I needed a leave of absence to get my bearings. Admittedly, as I was beginning my 3-month “vacation” it was clear that I had some internal work to do. Thankfully after a few (tons) conversations with God, I made peace with a lot of things, learned to rely on His wisdom and not my own, which set me free in so many aspects of my life. It’s been a pruning period, to say the least. I will say that I am much better for it and am thankful for all of the experiences that have led me to this point thus far. So here are a few things that I’ve been up to in my absence.

Taking Responsibility

Image result for head in the sand gif

In January, I was mentally/emotionally in a chaotic state, not dealing with my “things” very well. Fortunately, I could tell something was amiss, and though I was committed to doing the “work”, I needed some help. Faith really played a part in my healing process. I began to ask the questions, “how did I get here?” and “in what ways did I contribute to this mess?”. Funny thing is, if you do ask God these questions, you’ll get an answer, though it may not be what you want to hear. In short, in asking the tough questions, I realized that I needed to take responsibility for the relationships I engaged in and how I spent my time. The truth is, I had a habit of hanging out with insanely damaged people. When I realized that the baggage I was carrying was 98% not my own, it radically changed my view and perception about myself and the world I created.

Image result for taking responsibility

Killing My Ego

As much as I hate to admit it, I have a Texas-sized ego. I’m smart and not only do I know it, I have no problem demonstrating it. It’s an issue I’m constantly managing, ha! I LOVE problem-solving. My spatial reasoning skills are quite amazing. There’s nothing wrong with having a healthy ego, but when you begin to believe that you are indeed Superman, therein lies the issue. Maybe I hung out with the wrong people because I believed I could fix them. Maybe I hung out with broken folks because it made me feel superior in some messed up way (also I hate admitting that, but it’s true). The problem is, birds of a feather flock together, so I would either change the people I was with or eventually become just like them.

Image result for killing ego

Obviously, the latter happened. Of course, if you keep mentally trying to divide by zero, your brain will begin to shut down or explode. On a subconscious level, I knew something was awry, but I suppose at the time, it was easier to numb myself than to make changes. One of the worst things that I had to own was that I easily accepted the nonsense and beliefs of others without questioning or checking in with my own perspective. Friends, that is such a vile way to live! If there is one thing I hope that people could embrace, it’s to not allow other people’s perceptions of you rule your worldview. Once I began to question what people were saying and look at what they were actually doing, I began to realize the truth: a lot of people are hypocrites and blindly live according to societal standards or damaged value systems. Upon realizing this, it freed me to pursue the life that I want for myself, devoid of acknowledging the opinions of others.

Freedom in Being Yourself

After getting off of the “people-pleasing” rat race, the fundamental elements of Taryn came back, which I’m so thankful for! I now understand what I think, how I view myself, and what works for me to sustain a happy and meaningful life. Currently, I’m in Brian Head, UT with Abbey, enjoying the peaceful solitude of mountain life. There’s like 5 people up here, which is awesome! I do, on occasion, venture into the nearby town of Cedar City to people watch and do grocery shopping. To be honest, I can only last down there for about 3-4 hours before I become increasingly annoyed with the townsfolk.

Image result for freedom gif

I don’t know what it is, but one thing I’ve observed in my newfound “awareness” is that a lot of people are asleep at the wheel, merely going through the motions, and not fully aware of what it is that they’re doing. Seriously, I’ll have conversations with people and I will gently posit questions and 100% of the time, there’s a lightbulb going off in their minds. I don’t say this to come off as superior or judgmental. And maybe I’m able to see it because I too was once in this state. This observation honestly makes me want to go out and hug people, and tell them that it’s going to be OK. To me, seeing folks in this light signifies that there is something profoundly wrong with society.

Back to Creating

Anyway, this post wasn’t meant to be so existential, but then again, this is literally how my brain works. So, I will own it. I do want to share that I did end up making the podcast! The first episode airs in like 15 minutes, which you can find here! Is it perfect? No! But, I am proud of what I’ve accomplished, even though my audio-engineering skills leave a lot to be desired. Feel free to take a listen and share your thoughts! The whole podcast is meant to be humorous and I do not take myself seriously, so I hope you can get a laugh or two at the mis/adventures I will share on it. With that, I’m going to go outside and watch Abbey play in the snow. Until next time!

Image result for evil genius gif

Taryn Lightens Up

As much as I hate to admit it, I am a recovering sympathy addict. As I’ve mentioned, the last year was certainly not an easy one and everyone I knew was quick to sympathize and validate how crappy my situation was. Somewhere along the way, not only did I agree with them, I started to view myself in a victimized sort of fashion. I HATE admitting that. But, in order for me to move on and grow from this learning experience, I suppose honesty is the best policy.

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to

I’ve been in Big Bear Lake nearing three weeks and as much fun as it’s been, I spent the first two weeks licking my wounds and throwing the ultimate of pity parties.

 

Image result for pity party gif

Seriously, I’m embarrassed to admit that I was high on my “I’ve gone through traumatic experiences” vibes, that I was failing to see all of the awesome blessings and opportunities that had fallen on my lap.

Image result for self pity gif
Life sucks, poor me. Lol

 

Just because you’re right, doesn’t mean you’re right

Sometime last week, a voice that I hadn’t heard in a while popped into my head and asked me when I was going to be done feeling sorry for myself. For the first time in a while, I started to realize how my frame of view was biting me in the behind. In short, I was pouring salt in shallow wounds, not allowing myself to heal. Basically, I was fighting myself for no apparent reason.

Image result for arguing with yourself gif

I can look at this in one of two ways. I can either:

A: Be upset at people and situations that were really messed up, putting a damper on my worldview. Or…

B: Accept what happened, forgive people, and enjoy life as God intended rain or shine.

 

Lighten up and move on

So, I’ve chosen the latter, and my my my, what a difference a shift in perspective makes! I am acutely aware of how blessed I am. I have my health, my family, a career that I enjoy, and the opportunity to try new things and visit random places. I don’t want to waste my time wallowing in self-pity or ruminating on the negative stuff. Nope, I want to live life with the glass half-full.

I’m not denying my trials and tribulations. I’m choosing to accept that they happened and quick frankly, I may be a better person for it! I would be remiss if I didn’t credit God and my time reading the Bible for helping me in the healing process. I’m no saint, and I’ve realized that if I’m forgiven for my shortcomings, it’s high time that I did the same for others.

Anyway, I’m off to finish up some work and then I’m off to my knitting class! I’m learning how to make a scarf, so far, I’m learning rather quickly and I am having fun sitting in with the local crafters up here. Happy Tuesday!

 

Eat, Pray, WTF…

Hi there!

I’m going, to be frank, this past year has been a total shitshow; for better (totally!), and for worse.

I’ve experienced a ton of growth, but not without having to go through some very extreme losses. I suppose this is what the good Lord meant by pruning. Without getting into the specifics, this year has taught me a lot about myself. I’ve learned about my good habits, my bad habits, and the habits that well, we’re gladly abandoning.

The really cool thing about going through messed up situations is that it teaches you about perspective. Funnily enough, even though I’ve learned some painful lessons, lost some relationships that I thought were on solid ground, etc. I can’t help but thank God for the experience.

Ok, I swear I’m not crazy or a masochist, but this year has taught me sooooo much, I would be a fool to consider it anything else but a blessing. Which leads me to explain why I’m finally back on my little blog.

Same weirdo, new direction

In light of my new outlook, I’ve decided to abandon my sense of normalcy and hit the road. I’ve gone AWOL. I figure since my parents are out of the country, there’s no one to protest my departure from the norm. That said, Abbey and I are going to take some time to travel around the US. Currently, we are in Big Bear Lake recovering from matrimonial hell (more on that later). My goal for my travels is to learn new things, try stuff that normally makes me uncomfortable, and finish these dang novels that have been percolating in my brains for SO LONG!!! This isn’t one of those I’m going to “find” myself trips. I know who I am, I just really want to explore before I get too old and hate myself for not doing anything scary. Also, hence the name change of this blog. 😉

 

Anyway, that’s what’s up with me. Stay tuned for more shenanigans. In the meantime, here are some photos of my trip so far. Cheers!

 

 

 

Tabula Rasa

color-787251_1920

My mom always says, “We plan, and God laughs”. Boy does that statement resonate with me more than ever.

I’m at a pivotal point in my life where I’m learning the art of resilience and looking at life’s challenges as opportunities rather than signs of doom. It’s no secret that change and uncertainty are two things I’ve come to dread, but now I’m finding that the unknown is slowly becoming an old friend that I can depend on.

With that, I’m exercising faith that by stepping into new endeavors, things will workout, whether I can foresee the outcome or not. So here’s to embracing the curve balls and alternate endings of life and to all the new adventures they will lead us to. 🙂

Best laid plans

sky-414198_1920

I’m not dead! Though two bouts of sinus infections would lead me to believe otherwise. So what have I been up to? Long story short, I’ve gotten sick, learned how to assert my boundaries– some relationships are better for it, others, well worse.

I’m going to be blunt. Life is awesome, yet tough, but in general, I’m in favor of it. I do my best to get along while being mindful of the needs of others. To date, I’ve spent a lot of time bending over backward to accommodate someone close to me and I am proud to say, I’m at wit’s end and I’ve decided to bow out and become a reduced character in that person’s life movie.

I don’t end/distance myself from loved ones easily. In fact, I typically go the long-suffering route, enduring infractions just to keep the peace. Quite frankly, I’m tired. No matter how hard I try, I can’t make a relationship work on my own.

So toxic relationships are lame, especially when you care about the person. My love for them doesn’t change. My willingness to accept their poor treatment/character does.

“The bestlaid plans of mice and men often go awry definition. No matter how carefully a project is planned, something may still go wrong with it.” – Robert Burns

 

 

Feelings are…

Lame! Seriously, my emotions are all over the spectrum this week.

I’ve been in Vegas for about 3-ish weeks, and while I’m happy to be back, it’s not been without its challenges.

 

I’m experiencing a few major life changes all at once. And while there’s more good than bad, my hormones are all over the place this week, which doesn’t help one iota. Fortunately, I’m aware that I’m chemically imbalanced this week, so I’m not taking myself and my feelings too seriously (hence this rant). I will admit that my dad leaving for Germany to join my mom for the next few years was more difficult than I anticipated.

My parents are cooler than me

So last year, my mom decided to take a job that would place her in Germany for at least 3 years. My dad stayed back to take care of their stateside affairs. That in of itself was tough, as I’m close to my mom, but I had my dad. But today as was  I driving him to the airport, I felt like I was 5 again trying to cling to my mother’s dress instead of running to join the other kids to play.

I know I’m being dramatic, but my parents are really two of my favorite people on this planet, so to have them both in Europe (though I’m extremely happy/proud) it’s going to take some adjusting on my part. It doesn’t help that I’m 27 going on 60, which often places me out of my peer group.

 

It’s not all bad

Even though my bio parents are enjoying their European lives, I do in fact have a Vegas mom. Long story short, I met my buddy Mandy at a MeetUp a few years ago, and we’ve been friends ever since. She’s so kindly allowed me to steal her mom, Pam, who I admittedly hangout with more than Mandy (she moved to Utah last year). Pam is this is quirky, blunt Chicagoan who is a total riot. We share similar humor, so we get along famously. Every time I stop by, I’m spoiled– as is Abbey. Funnily enough, she’s been trying to get me back here since last year.

In hindsight, I’m glad I didn’t move to Chicago (another story for another day) as I think being in a new city by myself wouldn’t have been that great. I’m sure I would’ve adapted, but being near family and friends is proving to be comforting.

Ok, feelings don’t suck that much

I’ll admit, I feel better after writing this. I still think that feelings are obstructions in the sense of accomplishing things, but whatevs, such is life. Anywho, I’ll try to blog more frequently, now that things seem to be settling down. I hope everyone is having a great Wednesday!

Strategic Sunday

good-vibes-ocean-quote-quotes-Favim.com-1042285

Hello hello!

So I didn’t blog as much as I would’ve liked this past week. I’ve been busy with work stuff and the upcoming move! I can’t believe that this time next week, I’ll be back in Vegas for much of the foreseeable future. It’s a weird feeling honestly. I’m super stoked of course, but part of me will always love the California sun. That and the weather here was been AMAZING and Vegas is amping up to the 90s currently. But I digress! Here’s what I’m up to this week, and I plan on having a progress report ready next Saturday!

Work

  1. Tidy up design with client
  2. Get started on a bunch of newly assigned articles from a PHENOMENAL new client (so stoked!)
  3. 1st draft of my awesome super secret new company

Life

  1. 10k steps a day!
  2. Finish packing
  3. Prep clothing donation box
  4. Find a place to live!
  5. Blog at least 3 times
  6. Enjoy  life

Welp, that’s all for me this week. I’m very excited for all that’s to come. I hope everyone has a super awesome/productive week! 🙂

RIP Darwin

IMG_0170

Back in February, I was involved in a car accident in which Darwin, my car, didn’t make it. As I was driving from Long Beach to Monterey, a dude rear-ended me, spilling my newly purchased iced Macchiato all over my car. Even better, Abbey was in the car with me. Now, being involved in a car accident with my dog in the car, happens to be one of my biggest fears, so as the car impacted mine, my first thought was for the safety of Abbey.

Fortunately, she was fine, just a little spazzed out. I was fine for the most part too. Just stressed out about the logistics of the situation. The accident occurred in LA during the evening and I didn’t have any friends who were in the vicinity that could pick me up. Incidentally, I had to call a potential client turned family friend to explain my situation. I was so fortunate that she came out, picked me up as my car was being towed away and allowed me to spend the night at her house.

All in all, it wasn’t a bad accident to have. My insurance company (Progressive), was awesome at taking care of everything. Coincidentally, the guy who hit me was also insured by Progressive and it was clearly his fault, so the matter was resolved within a week. Even though I received a decent amount for my car, I was sad that my little 2010 Toyota Corolla was soon to be no more. It was my first car and I planned on keeping it until it couldn’t run anymore. But, plans change, I guess.

If I’m being honest, it wasn’t just about losing my vehicle, there were a lot of memories entangled in that car. From road trips, moving to different states, going to and graduating schools, that car had seen a lot. So, because I wasn’t able to say “goodbye” to Darwin, this is my way of doing so. I’m thankful that it kept me and Abbey safe, and for all of the adventures it helped me facilitate. Darwin will be missed.

My dog is a jerk, but I love it

IMG_0206.JPG
Morning Walk

Abbey and I have been buddies since March, 2013. I was sitting in a Starbucks one day thinking I needed a dog. Looking back, I was so ill-prepared, but I persevered, managing to keep us both alive and relatively sane for the past 4 years. I love my dog. She’s the best. But if I had to be completely honest, her level of obedience is about 75% at best. This secretly makes me proud.

 

IMG_0538
Without a care in the world

A mind of her own

I’ll admit, I’m a stubborn son of a gun, questioning everyone and everything, if it suits me. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that my dog behaves the same way. When we’re in the house, she’s pretty good about following directions. But if I’m away, she’ll get into food that’s within her reach, or she’ll sit on the couch. I’ve straight up come home and she’ll be on the floor. However, I’ll touch the couch and it feels warm (not too slick there, Abbey). Or, if we’re outside and she’s off the leash, she will not listen to me, unless I’ve called her a dozen times and I sound angry. In these moments, I’ll grumble, muttering to myself that my dog is an a**, but I’ll have a slight smile of pride on my face. This might sound crazy, but I couldn’t deal with a dog who has 100% allegiance to my command. Heck, I don’t even obey myself 100% of the time.  Blind obedience means you aren’t thinking for yourself, so when she deviates from desired behavior, I’d like to think it’s because she’s doing her own thing. Part of me can never be too mad about that, lol.

IMG_0190
Love this crazy mutt

As that crazy mutt is approaching 6 this year, I’m so thankful for her and all of the fun/zany adventures that we’ve encountered. It’s funny, she’s not a big barker, but when I saw her at the shelter 4 years ago, she made sure to get my attention, and I’m so glad she did. 🙂