Man! I Feel Like a Woman! (No I don’t)

I hope the Shania Twain reference wasn’t lost on anyone. If it is, shame on you, it’s quite a catchy song. Anyway, I digress. As a member of the XX chromosome club, I can attest that women do/wear some of the most uncomfortable/painful things for the sake of fashion. Being the self proclaimed tomboy that I am, even I have fallen prey to the use of non-sensible shoes. Flats, to be specific. I bought some super adorable (super evil) flats the other day and I wanted to be “cute” and wear them to work. Since moving back into my sister’s house, I can’t seem to find anything.

This morning, I was trolling for the little footie socks I wear with flats. I couldn’t find anything so I thought screw it, I’ll go without them (don’t get disgusted, you know you’ve done it before too). BIG MISTAKE!!! For anyone who’s had to endure the hardship of breaking in flats (or any other uncomfortable shoe for that matter) my toes are the casualty in the war against looking plain.

By the end of the day I was limping like I was attacked and beaten in the woods and left for dead. Unfortunately, I had to run to Target to grab some new socks and some Band Aids® for my poor battered feet. So, at the risk of looking like a group attack victim, I held my head high and pretended to walk as best I could while maintaining what little dignity I could muster. Maybe it was the searing pain from the torn blister on my right foot or divine intervention, but I managed to leave Target with only the items I had on my list.

Finally I made my way home and applied this miracle contraption that is Band Aid®. I ponied up and got the blister relief ones and boy am I glad I did. Anyone who has a blister I recommend you do the same, you will not be disappointed! I swear this isn’t a plug for the brand, I just happened to really appreciate their existence more today than usual. So anyway, I’m sitting here in my moccasins giving my feet reprieve from the hell that I put them through today. I think next time I want to break in new shoes while working, I’m gonna have an extra pair on deck, and some extra socks….

The video is what I imagined I looked like at Target… Enjoy 😀

The Importance of a Grocery List

grocery-list

I’ve freely embraced that I am incredibly disorganized. I tend to go about life in a “stream of consciousness” way (unless I have a crush on you, but that’s a different story for a different day). As much as i hate to admit it, I have my head in the clouds quite a bit so it’s important that I write things down; otherwise to my whimsical little brain, it does not exist.  So you’d think by now I’ve known myself to be forgetful, I’d master the task of making lists, in this particular instance a grocery list.

More often than not, when I’m at any store, I usually remember to write down what I need otherwise that leaves me at the mercy of my “wants”. Meaning, I am vulnerable to purchase whatever looks good at the moment I see it (Check out http://wp.me/p3BPLc-4l to get more understanding to the method rather lack thereof to my madness). That, and I forget what I went to the store for in the first place.

Today was a day that I did not bring such list. I remember distinctly thinking “Crap! I don’t have a shopping list. Eh, I can wing it”. With said false hope I proceeded to get the items that I needed. As I went to the checkout line, I remembered feeling proud that I got everything I needed. I thought to myself, “See, I don’t need a stinkin’ list after all”. So I went home, unloaded my groceries, and carried them to my apartment.

As I was putting my items away (proudly I might add), I prepared to make myself a steak. As I got my seasonings out, I realized that I’d forgotten the foil. Face palm, “ugh”, I thought to myself I forgot something. Being the eternal optimist that I am, I decided to forego the steak and opt for a sandwich. I got those items out, then realized that I forgot the mayo. Was I batting a thousand or what? So moral of the story A: I am not above needing a list, for literally everything, B: I am a forgetful putz, and C: I am now very hungry with a fridge full of ingredients that are missing their counterparts. Time to order delivery.