Taryn Lightens Up

As much as I hate to admit it, I am a recovering sympathy addict. As I’ve mentioned, the last year was certainly not an easy one and everyone I knew was quick to sympathize and validate how crappy my situation was. Somewhere along the way, not only did I agree with them, I started to view myself in a victimized sort of fashion. I HATE admitting that. But, in order for me to move on and grow from this learning experience, I suppose honesty is the best policy.

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to

I’ve been in Big Bear Lake nearing three weeks and as much fun as it’s been, I spent the first two weeks licking my wounds and throwing the ultimate of pity parties.

 

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Seriously, I’m embarrassed to admit that I was high on my “I’ve gone through traumatic experiences” vibes, that I was failing to see all of the awesome blessings and opportunities that had fallen on my lap.

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Life sucks, poor me. Lol

 

Just because you’re right, doesn’t mean you’re right

Sometime last week, a voice that I hadn’t heard in a while popped into my head and asked me when I was going to be done feeling sorry for myself. For the first time in a while, I started to realize how my frame of view was biting me in the behind. In short, I was pouring salt in shallow wounds, not allowing myself to heal. Basically, I was fighting myself for no apparent reason.

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I can look at this in one of two ways. I can either:

A: Be upset at people and situations that were really messed up, putting a damper on my worldview. Or…

B: Accept what happened, forgive people, and enjoy life as God intended rain or shine.

 

Lighten up and move on

So, I’ve chosen the latter, and my my my, what a difference a shift in perspective makes! I am acutely aware of how blessed I am. I have my health, my family, a career that I enjoy, and the opportunity to try new things and visit random places. I don’t want to waste my time wallowing in self-pity or ruminating on the negative stuff. Nope, I want to live life with the glass half-full.

I’m not denying my trials and tribulations. I’m choosing to accept that they happened and quick frankly, I may be a better person for it! I would be remiss if I didn’t credit God and my time reading the Bible for helping me in the healing process. I’m no saint, and I’ve realized that if I’m forgiven for my shortcomings, it’s high time that I did the same for others.

Anyway, I’m off to finish up some work and then I’m off to my knitting class! I’m learning how to make a scarf, so far, I’m learning rather quickly and I am having fun sitting in with the local crafters up here. Happy Tuesday!

 

Best laid plans

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I’m not dead! Though two bouts of sinus infections would lead me to believe otherwise. So what have I been up to? Long story short, I’ve gotten sick, learned how to assert my boundaries– some relationships are better for it, others, well worse.

I’m going to be blunt. Life is awesome, yet tough, but in general, I’m in favor of it. I do my best to get along while being mindful of the needs of others. To date, I’ve spent a lot of time bending over backward to accommodate someone close to me and I am proud to say, I’m at wit’s end and I’ve decided to bow out and become a reduced character in that person’s life movie.

I don’t end/distance myself from loved ones easily. In fact, I typically go the long-suffering route, enduring infractions just to keep the peace. Quite frankly, I’m tired. No matter how hard I try, I can’t make a relationship work on my own.

So toxic relationships are lame, especially when you care about the person. My love for them doesn’t change. My willingness to accept their poor treatment/character does.

“The bestlaid plans of mice and men often go awry definition. No matter how carefully a project is planned, something may still go wrong with it.” – Robert Burns